the end of war: - Turkey

From Turkey, Neslihan Çiflik wonders about the end of war:

I haven’t been present in any period of war during my life. I’m watching death like watching a movie on TV. My consciousness can’t accept reality. Even I can’t put myself in their place. I can’t think that it could also happen to me.
Unfortunately, there is war with or without guns.
It’s embarrassing to sit safely at home and write a letter of peace.
You know why? Because it sounds terrible that a human is killing some other, more than when someone is killed somewhere, far away. I’m not dying with this dying person. I’m getting dirty with the killer and I’m carrying this disgrace in my skin, in my blood.
Maybe I’m collapsing someone’s safe house, stealing his or her breath and his or her smile in this world. And maybe stealing her children’s smile as well.
I couldn’t believe that I can do or may do all of these. It’s a terrible shame.
This can’t be our aim to be born. My existence can’t give any pain to another person.
According to me that war is unbelievable from these sides. People die of disease or disaster. But this is not a disease, this is not a disaster, this is not faith.
Why do I do this? Our old world needs peace. Human, nations, environment, animals and herbs, and states are tired.